Saturday thoughts

You know what sucks....Life. Yeah thats probably going to depress a bunch of people but it's my blog and I will whine if I want to :P Anyways back to how I feel life sucks, I have managed to keep my house clean..ish, I have began the slippery slope of exercise (my legs are killing me), and on general I have been eating better not the best but better, and yet I still feel depress and want to cry 80% of the time and I can not for the life of me associate this with anything. Friends of mine are going through way way worse thing than my silly moods and they are not being all mopey, no they are grabbing life by the reins, smacking it on the ass and riding through it like a fucking pro and yet here I am going "oh boo hoo hoo nickle is sad" ugh sometimes I hate myself even more than normal. Seriously I am exactly the type of person I would smack in the head.

On to bigger and better things, I think. I am off to the states with my happy cohort Kath and her little terror Diana (terror in a good way people not negative), we will be traveling to the lovely land of Aldi's, Target, Wal-Mart, and Wegmans!! I am hoping I get VTO so we can go sooner rather than later as I have my littlest stepson over for the weekend. The house while in mild disarray has been maintained to a point, however since the washer decided to die two weeks ago I really need to finish the laundry and get everything packed away properly.

My wedding is fast approaching and I am coming to the realization that in ways of preparation I have done......zilch! Okay yes I have spoken to the travel agent to finalize pricing and they are currently trying to work out a better deal than what was offered to us in the beginning but it is still a bother that I have not done the following: Dress shopped with anyone let alone my Maid of Honor, finalized how I am going to approach my grandfather regarding the fact I am getting married but I don't want his wife there, and how I am paying for this.

Ugh hello stress welcome back!

Well I have to get back to work not ( barf) look forward to seeing you soon Kath. Let me know if me taking VTO is not going to work!!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

nickle

slipping

I feel like I am drowning in a sea of slavery and there is no one to throw me a life preserver, I will let the tide slip over my head for now and just see what happens as i sink....

Annoying people and fucking hormones

So sitting in Starbucks and just relaxing having a good time drinking my Tazo Chai, we sit down at a table (really it is Tuesday why are there so many people here?) and next to us 3 people sit down, all of them annoying. They have this high pitched whineish laugh that makes me want to punch bambi in the freaking face and tell him what happened to old Ma and Pa dear.

Ugh okay venting made me feel a little better!

Now onto the hormones, I feel like I am in a life raft and my feelings are cresting each time we hit a wave and I start to cry, then I come back down to level and feel better, then it is right back up to crying.

I am going insane with this, I am not on my period (sorry if it's TMI) and I am pretty sure that my life is leveling out a bit better but I keep feeling the 1 step forward 8 steps back, I cannot keep this valiant fight of staying level up for much longer..... time for stress leave? I really hope not.

Meh at least I am better off than other people!

nickle
xoxoxoxoxox

It's not you it's me

Hey Guy's!

You would think that I have a fear of commitment to this blog as I post for a while and then when it seems were getting really close and we might be reaching an exclusive point, blamo there I go running away. Either way here I am again trying to make this work, really blog, I care about you a lot and I think we can have something special don't you, oh really, well I will show you I care.

There has been a lot going on lately in my life, just a mere 3 days ago I travelled to the wonderland that is the Toronto Fan Expo, yes people I was there! Among my esteemed colleges for the day there was, Rob (aka the Master), Jason (aka Coolest Dude for getting me into comics), Rachel (aka Making people horny since 2009), Russell (aka 14 years old, an ass man, and approves of my boobs), oh and Forch was there (no aka for Mr. Complains alot)

Any hoo back to the Fan Expo! This year there was a surplus of super hero costumes as compared to the anime ones, it's not that there were no anime costumes with their giant weapons that take out people where they stand it's just that the Green Lantern corp was there to patrol them, no seriously there was 3 million people either dressed up as a Green Lantern or in a Green Lantern Shirt. One of the guys at a booth wanted to get everyone who was dressed as a Green Lantern to get together to say the pledge, HA would have stayed for that! DC was there for the first time ever and I have to say that they kicked some serious ass, really I have 2 million pound bags filled with free swag from their booth, Marvel (aka Disney) on the other hand had like 2 items for free.

We spent some monies and I got more of my VooDoo Babies, as well as some awesome prezzies from Rob, Jay, and Rachel! All in all it was a great day, minus Captain Complain, the crowds and the fact that somewhere out there geeks are being taught that in order to be a geek you need to smell like ass, really guys your not going to win my geeky heart that way.

After the Long ass day we came home to Kaths (Due to knee issues Kath and Diana were unable to attend, it was for the best really as the crowds were killing me, Diana would have been an Ass/foot pancake) and we all gathered and had pizza and talked about the day and what we loved.

Russell (who is Jays Nephew not Son dummy) was awesome! He was not at all like the other kids his age and he was able to not be annoying like one of our other guests that day (getting a theme here)

Met Beau Bridges, kept forgetting who Jeff Bridges is, and saw some other Celebrity's who might be looking a little older.

Other than that nothing much is going really, oh bought a car it is a 1987 Pontiac Acadian, it is baby poop yellow.

Once I have driven her around a bit I will post photos as well as my thoughts on her.

That is all for now folks we will touch base again.

Love you Blog

nickle

xoxoxoxoxoxox

Idiot

Okay so I arrived at work today and realized that I had locked my drawer last night and forgotten my key, yah I was dumb. Well I scavenged for a headset to use and managed to find one and after extensive cleaning it was deemed "okay". I have been using said head set for about an hour now and it works fine. Well Kelso comes over and were talking and I am telling him my woeful story of my keys and then as i am looking in my bag..... there they are. Yah I never actually looked for them this morning as I just figured I had forgotten them, feel like an idiot. Either way the reason I am announcing this is because Kelso said he was going to tell Kath before me and I wanted to beat him to it!! 

here you go Kath laugh away :P

Dates

Okay when someone says "Hey were going to come for the kids on the 24th" you might think okay so I need to make sure that their stuff is ready for then and that I have money/ time off to do it in, Right? Well no because after making sure this is all arranged you get the second message " Alright so we will be seeing you on the 23rd" umm no it's the 24th.

I am going crazy! Generally I am laid back but when it comes to planning things I need to be aware and know every little detail in advance so the fact that I received the first date only a week and a half before it happened was enough to send me batty, then to have my planning get screwed because the date has changed, uh hell no!

I just wish people would be able to say yes this is the date I have confirmed it and pleas go ahead and plan for that I will not change the date unless some thing grievous comes up like my own death, is that to much to ask? 

Wow feel way better now that is off my chest, next on the agenda is putting together a brief synopsis about Tease for Matt and then dealing with the boys and making sure they have everything. Really when did my life get so hectic!

Be back later as I know I will need to blog before the day is out!

nickle

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxx

Kids

My step kids drive me crazy, I say it all the time that when they mis-behave, act snotty, generally be kids and roll their eyes I mutter how I never asked for kids and that I want to go crazy and hit something, and yet I love them as if I pushed them put of myself. Anthony, Connor, and Aiden are my baby's and I treat them as such some times. Aiden lives close to us only about 30 minuets away, do I see him that much, not really we have an issue with his mother and how she tries to control when we can see our Aiden, but Rob has learned to stand up to her and not let her boss him around!

Anthony and Connor are here every other christmas and every summer for 8 weeks. They live in Iowa and we see them more than Aiden sometimes. Now they have full standing permission from Rob to stay with us here in Canada and we have had some consideration made by Connor. Now when he asked his Mother she said "NO", Now they are of an age where they can decide where they live and there is nothing either parent is allowed to do about it, but Connor is a mama's boys and will not cross her. 

The reason we find out is because she is afraid Master will not let her have them back, while yes I have considered it I would never keep the children from their mother ever, It makes me laugh that she says this as she had 2 FBI charges of kidnapping against her and deliberately keeps the kids away from their Father, HA.

I have been thinking about this while sitting at work and it makes me wonder if I would have more kids, I doubt it. I love children, playing with them and generally filling in the "fun" auntie role makes me happy but to be their full time mother, I don't think so. Rob and I have decided that at the age of 30ish I will decided about having kids and should I want one we will begin the steps, until then I will enjoy my step babies and all the joy they bring me!

nickle

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxx